


Christmas Destiny

by Chocobabe100



Category: Banana Fish (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Comfort/Angst, Happy Ending, M/M, Reunited and It Feels So Good
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-25
Updated: 2018-12-25
Packaged: 2019-09-26 23:58:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,023
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17151455
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chocobabe100/pseuds/Chocobabe100
Summary: A changed ending of episode 25 where Ash doesn't die and is happy together with Eiji.





	Christmas Destiny

**Author's Note:**

> To be honest, I've never cried so hard for such an anime. It was too the point where I was forced to make this otherwise I'd cry literally everyday. I go back to this for refuge, I don't believe what happened at the end of episode 25 was true.
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own anything from Akimi Yoshida

**Banana Fish: Christmas Destiny**

  


“Why won’t you go to him? He is going back to Japan today!” Sing exclaimed.

 

Ash stared intently at the letter Sing gave him from Eiji then nonchalantly breathed out, “I know.”

 

“Then why...? You’re his friend!”

 

“That’s exactly why!” Ash yelled silencing Sing. As much as it hurt him to let Eiji go, he didn't want to bring him back to a world of killing. He knew deep down inside if he saw Eiji again, he wouldn’t ever let him out of his site again. The only light that lit up his world of darkness and pain. The only light where he was able to experience the true happiness of actually caring for someone. The only light he had to let go.

 

Sing bit back his bottom lip in utter shock of the nonsense Ash was spouting. As Ash was taking his leave, Sing desperately mentioned, “... There’s no time left. Want me to give him a message?” Ash kept silent and Sing downright lost his patience with him calling him a stubborn idiot and running away.

 

* * *

 

 _Ash... You didn’t come._ Eiji was at the airport getting ready to leave home to Japan with everyone saying their goodbyes and whatnot. As much as he was happy that he was finally going to back, he was immensely hurt that Ash decided to not see him off, but he understood why.

 

Eiji solemnly casted his gaze down at the bouquet of flowers in his lap. _If I wasn’t stuck to this wheelchair, I would go see Ash no matter what. Even if it meant it was our last time seeing each other... This is just too painful. Are you ok with this, Ash?_

 

* * *

 

Ash sat outside of the library on a bench still staring at the letter from Eiji he had yet to open. Then all at once he opened it knowing he had nothing left to lose. The first thing that surprised him upon opening it was a plane ticket for him, then the following letter that made him lose his mind:

 

_“Ash,_

 

_I’m worried to death because I haven’t been able to see you doing well. You said we live in different worlds. But is that true? We have different colored skin and eyes. We were born in different countries. But we’re friends. Isn’t that what counts? I’m really glad I came to America. I met lots of people. And more than anything, I met you. You asked me over and over if you scared me. But I’ve never feared you, not once. What’s more is that you’re hurt much more than me. I couldn’t help feeling that way. Funny, huh? You’re way smarter, bigger, and stronger than me. But I always felt like I had to protect you.”_

 

Ash ran aimlessly. He didn’t want things to end between him and Eiji they way they it was already coming to. The feelings and memories he wanted to keep locked in his heart forever were bleeding out painfully, storming through his bloodstream. Whether they were good or bad, they all meant something special to him. _I have time to see him. Even if it’s just the plane. I-_

 

_“I wonder what is was I wanted to protect you from.”_

 

“Why did you let your guard down? You never do! Why now!?” Lao bitterly looked up at Ash with his dagger already inches deep into his stomach. And almost instantly like a revolver, Ash furtively pulled out his gun shooting him down like the cold killing machine he was. “No hard feelings...” Lao wheezed painful backing away and collapsing against a wall and slowly to the ground on his dying breath, “I can’t let you take Sing away...”

 

Ash clenched onto his bleeding wound briefly staring at Lao’s lifeless body then gasped when he dropped the papers from Eiji’s letter. He picked up the papers and kept on going desperately.

 

_“I wanted to protect you from the fate. The fate that tries to carry you away, drifting further and further away.”_

 

Ash dragged his feet miserably across the concrete ground while clutching on to the dagger wound pitted deep into his stomach. The only pain he felt was not being able to see Eiji one last time, but at that point he thought it was ok. It was his prayer. When he finally reached the library, he felt as if he could finally relax.

 

_“You told me once about a leopard you read in a book once. You believed how the leopard knew that it couldn’t go back.”_

 

Ash huffed swinging the door wide open and knees suddenly buckled making him come to the ground on one knee. His vision blurred and his head began to spin, but he got up once again finding an empty table to sit at a table to continue reading Eiji’s letter.

 

_“And I said you weren’t a leopard, that you can change your destiny. You are not alone. I’m by your side. My soul is always with you.”_

 

The tough guy act Ash always held confidently crumbled to dust. Not one, but multiple drops of tears splattered onto Eiji’s letter uncontrollably. Ash never loved himself, rather he was terrified of what he had become. A body used for the likes of men and cold killing machine stained red. He believed for so long the vessel his soul was carried in was unholy, unworthy, and unwanted. But finally, it could all pass over him like it was just a silly nightmare. Ash raised his teary-eyed face skyward towards a warm ray of light shining down upon him. It was so warm. The warmth he longed to have and the warmth he’d always have forever within his heart. _My destiny... It’s finally changed Eiji..._

 

* * *

 

Ash woke up suddenly in a cold sweat and his eyes instinctively  flashed slowly from the left and all the way to the right in the small room he was kept in. He soon realized it was a hospital room by the vague scent of rubbing alcohol and the IV that was plunged into his forearm. _What is going on? Why am I alive...?_ Glancing at his pale palms for a brief moment, he instantly remembered one thing. He shot up like a rocket from his hospital bed ripping out the IV and jetted down the halls. Doctors and nurses alike tried to stop him along the way, but he kept on going. Hard and strong, but there was a large man, blocking his path, so he ultimately stopped to peer up at him with molten anger.

 

“I knew you wouldn’t settle down. I guess it was a bad idea for me to leave your room even for one second.”

 

“Sergei... Get out of my way! I don’t have time for you!”

 

Sergei release a hearty laugher and flashed from his coat pocket Ash’s letter from Eiji handing it back to him. “You were holding onto this tightly even when you passed out back by the library, so I just had to see what it was. Don’t worry, everything is already arranged.” Ash calmed down raising one eyebrow at him in confusion. “I rescheduled your flight for you later tonight so you can get some rest. You don’t owe me for this one. Afterall, you’re going to see the only person who means something to in your life, right? Merry Christmas Ash and take care.” Ash watched Sergei gradually disappear from his sight among a crowd of people in the busy hospital. It wasn’t what Ash wanted to do, but he was beginning to contradict himself entirely. Was it really ok for him to travel across the globe to see Eiji again? Ash opened up the letter taking look at new plane ticket he received. _It’s ok... right?_

 

Later that evening, Ash packed a few things for carry on in his hideout. Some books, a few change of clothes and more importantly food remembering the one time Eiji had him try natto. Just reminiscing the texture made him want to gag. He wanted to leave in secrecy, leaving everything behind in New York. His past, present, and future. Without telling a soul, but he already knew in his gut that wouldn't be the case. _They're all so nosy._ Ash’s door swung wide and the two people he anticipated came see him. Cain Blood and Sing Soo-Ling.  

 

Cain smirked giving Ash a brotherly pat on the back. “You’ve been like an open book lately you know. Take it easy Ash and don't worry. We'll handle things down here. I'll be sure to let all the boys know.”

 

“Yeah. I'm not worried at all.” Ash smiled distantly then glazed his eyes over at Sing who looked in between bawling his eyes out or breaking a brick wall with his bare fists. “Sing-”

 

“Just go! We don't need you here.” Sing yelled. He tighten his fists and gazed at Ash with a penetrating rage that he can only understand. “So go... go to where Eiji is you idiot! That’s where you’ve wanted to be all this time...”

 

“That’s the second time you called me an idiot today and the last time you ever will.” Ash pinched Sing’s nose playfullying and grabbed his bag on the way out. “See ya.”

 

The airport was the last place Ash expected to be and as well as leaving the hell hole he has been living his entire life. He checked in for his flight and got his bag looked at too. Lastly, he boarded his plane that Christmas Eve evening.

 

While on the plane, Ash read a couple of his books. They were mostly about Japan and their culture and he also tried studying the language too, but most of it went over his head. The one word he remember Eiji teaching him was “sayonara” and it was the last word he’d rather not have to say again, so he studied harder. Just enough to get by.

 

* * *

 

 _Ah, that’s right. It’s a day ahead here, so it’s Christmas this evening._ Ash glanced about the Japanese airport, not sure of the first thing he should do. Hopefully for some helpful guidance, he checked the letter Eiji sent him to see if there was some kind of address he missed reading along along the way. To his luck, there was.

 

“Anata no me wa utsukushii desu.” Ash glanced down at a small japanese girl and tilted his head at her and smiled. _She said something about my eyes...?_ The girl scratched her head in frustration till her eyes suddenly lit up. “Eyes... kirei desu ne.” She gestured towards her eyes in a cute way.

 

 _She thinks my eyes are beautiful? Well I guess that makes sense here._ Ash came down to her level and patted her head. “Domo arigato.” She nodded frantically and asked for a picture with her camera and of course Ash couldn’t pass that up. Shortly after, Ash caught a taxi to the address written on the back of his letter. As much as he wanted to explore Japan in and out, it was getting too late and he thought he could do that with Eiji sometime soon.

 

“Thanks.” Ash said getting out of the vehicle with his belongings.

 

“Merry Christmas, boy.” The driver replied before taking off.

 

Ash arrived in front of a small park and nearby was a neighborhood. He guessed the Eiji probably lived there, but there was no use exploring if really didn’t know for sure, so instead he took a seat on a bench and waited in the cold. He watched the pleasant scenery of a violet sunset turn vanishing into complete darkness as the crescent moon illuminated the dark sky. At some point, Eiji had to cross the path he was on and all Ash could do was believe he would. Clenched his fists impatiently in his lap glancing down the dark stone path. _Eiji._

 

* * *

 

“Ugh, this is too much to carry back home.” Eiji complained leaving the grocery store. He wasn't sure why his mother had him buy so many ingredients for a feast the on the night of Christmas when there was only going to be his sister, his mother, and himself. Was she expecting company? Whatever it was, somehow Eiji had to haul it all back by himself home. It was no use crying over spilt milk, so he got himself together and began to walk.

 

 _I wonder how Ash is doing? I hope he isn’t getting into any more trouble than he already has been in. I can’t believe I’m still worrying about him even now that I’m back here in Japan._ Eiji heaved a long heavy sigh that seemed to carry for miles. He stopped in his path frowning up at the dark sky then moments later white flakes erupted from the sky and scattered everywhere so heavenly and divine. Eiji smiled. _I know Ash doesn't want me to come back to New York see him again. I know that, but-_ Eiji’s lips slowly turned downward and trembled violently. Before he knew it, his eyes stung and tears spilled out like a broken faucet. No matter how much he he rubbed his eyes to stop, more and more painful emotions oozed out killing his pounding heart. _I want to know that he's ok! That he's doing fine! But he never tells me anything... He always pushes me away when I just want to protect him. If I was only stronger-_

 

“....Eiji!”

 

 _That voice..._ Eiji sniffled and squinted through his tears down the snow covered path in the direction he heard his name being called from. It was in an aching tone that he couldn't ignore. Seconds later, he saw a foreigner appear in the white foggy scenery. He had blonde hair, bright-green distraught eyes, and a smile so vibrant, it could be the morning sun. However, that boy oddly somehow knew his name and was dashing towards his direction. _Do I know that boy...?_

 

“Eiji!”

 

 _Wait, that’s...!_ “A-Ash!? Ash!” Before Eiji had a chance to reorganize his thoughts, Ash already had him in his arms. Eiji lost his footing stumbling backwards onto his butt dropping everything he had in his hands embarrassingly in the process, but not once did Ash’s warm yet strong embrace waver.

 

His racing heart, soft blonde hair and pale cheeks against his. It was all surreal in within Eiji’s grasp, so he held on like it was his last. With one hand Eiji threaded his fingers carefully through his blonde locks and the other to securely wrap around his strong yet fragile body. And ever so quietly, Eiji almost mistaken the inaudible sobs Ash let out for just a whistle in the wind, but everything was ok now. “Ash, you’re here... in Japan. I thought you didn't want to see me again. I left an address on the back, thinking maybe if there was a chance that you’d change your mind I’d run into here since I take this path everyday...”

 

“Eiji...” Ash’s mind was in absolute peace embraced like a child in Eiji’s arms. The world stopped on its axis. Wind, snow, and the cold ceased to exist just the snug heat radiating off whom he cherished for so long was enough to run his tears dry. How was it that Ash strived to let heaven go when it was what he wanted all along? Was it God who gave him another chance at life to experience this? Was this His way of saying it wasn’t his time yet? Nevertheless, he was truly thankful. Ash pulled back briefly gazing at the two set of the dark yearning orbs in front of him before reaching into his coat pocket for the letter Eiji had sent him. “‘My soul is always with you.’ You made it sound like I was going to die as soon as you left.”

 

“T-That wasn’t my intention!” Eiji sniffled rubbing his eyes clean. “You already know it so Ash!”

 

“I guess God was merciful enough to not let that happen just yet. Perhaps, this was my destiny.” Ash chuckled and folded the letter back into his pocket. “Honestly, it was hard letting you go. Even if you did come back, I would’ve done everything in my power to not see you.” Ash admitted. “You said in Japan its safe. There’s no guns, no fighting. For once in my life, I feel like I can actually let my guard down. It’s nice here compared to New York.”

 

Eiji opened his mouth to say something, but no words came out. Only the stream tears which flowed down his face and his ugly sobbing could do the explaining. “Jeez... You’re such a crybaby, onii-chan~.” Ash teased then released a long awaited sigh of relief. He touched Eiji’s cold cheek looking him square in the eyes. “Would you stop crying if I stay here with you?”

 

“Ash...”

 

Ash smiled curling a black strand of hair behind Eiji’s ear and kissed him out of the blue. Genuine, unselfish, welcoming. It was sensual, just like last time, yet different. Ash wasn’t desperate to send him off on errand, but desperate to have him by his side and that made Eiji ultimately happy. Eiji felt Ash’s hot tongue slip into his mouth and warm up the rest of his body like a fiery inferno. His heart skipped a beat and his cheeks were stained a beautiful and toasty crimson. Eiji craved like crazy for more of him. Nearly a whole day felt like 365 days without him. It’s been too long. He fluttered his eyes shut squeezing out new droplets of tears and kissed him back sweetly. Amidst the snow, they melted within that heavenly reunion as one.

 

Soon enough, Ash drifted his lips away from Eiji’s nearly cackling at how flustered he was. “Tadaima, onii-chan.”

 

Eiji laughed in his tears receiving an irritated pout from Ash. The fact that this was all real and wasn’t a dream was more than just a gift this Christmas. He was glad that Ash was here with him. Here to finally stay. “Okaeri.” Eiji whispered holding him a little tighter.


End file.
